Top 11 Reasons Dartmouth College Is Banning Hard Liquor On Campus

11. Drunk students were blogging too much

10. No amount of booze can make Dartmouth girls look hot

9.  Unilateral decision of Dartmouth Chancellor Douglas C. Neidermeyer

8.  Zima is a major contributor to Dartmouth

7.  Administration blamed alcohol for the out-of-hand hijinks in "Revenge of the Nerds," and swore that nothing similar would ever happen there

6.  Feared they might overtake St. Anselm College as the #1 party school in New Hampshire

5.  Trying to encourage marijuana use to recreate the culture that spawned Power Line

4.  Felt the grain would be better put to use making ethanol

3.  No amount of booze can make Dartmouth guys look studly

2.  Feared it could lead to male students asking girls on dates, which might lead to a rape culture

1.  Hard liquor is, like, so red state