Friday, December 26, 2014

The Minnesota State High School League and Lola

The Minnesota State High School League recently announced a transgender policy that allows transgendered males to play girls sports. It is obvious that this will lead to problems with girls losing to opponents who are, in fact, male. What will happen when a transgendered athlete defeats a girl for a championship or breaks a state record? The confusion that will occur reminds me of a Kinks classic:

I met her on the court down in Orono
Where our tennis team plays in the high school league of Minnesota
S-O-T-A sota
She walked up to me and said you’ve got no chance
I asked her her name and in a deep fay voice she said Lola
El-oh-el-aye Lola la-la-la-la Lola

Well she looked physically a lot like like a guy
And when she served that ball, it really did fly
Oh my Lola la-la-la-la Lola
Well I'm not dumb but I can't understand
She’s made up like a woman but played like a man
Oh my Lola la-la-la-la Lola la-la-la-la Lola

Well we played a quick tennis game that night
It wasn’t really much of a fight
She knocked me down and beat the hell out of me
And said “I’m the world’s best tennis tranny”
Well it really made sense that she was a guy
And tears filled my eyes cause I lost the state title to Lola
La-la-la-la Lola la-la-la-la Lola
Lola la-la-la-la Lola la-la-la-la Lola

Last year I won state
Awards rained and poured
I’m champion no more
I got knocked to my knees
Then I looked at her and she at me

That's not the way that I wanted to play
And I don’t think it’s fair I lost to a gay guy named Lola
La-la-la-la Lola
It’s not fair for boys to play sports with girls
It's a mixed up muddled up shook up world with freaks like Lola
La-la-la-la Lola

This year I won all my matches before
And I'd never lost to a woman before
But Lola smiled and took me by the hand
And said girl, you got to shower with a man

Well I don’t want to play sports against a man
Even if they’re a sexual tran
Just like Lola
La-la-la-la Lola la-la-la-la Lola
Lola la-la-la-la Lola la-la-la-la Lola

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