Thursday, January 02, 2014

Top 11 Reasons the Packers Can't Sell Out Their Playoff Game Sunday

11. Less fun urinating into an empty beer cup when your urine freezes before it hits the cup  

10. Brokeback Mountain on cable at same time as the game

9. Fans read Larry Jacobs' state economic comparison piece and are saving their money to move to Minnesota

8. One of Paul Ryan's concessions on the budget deal

7. Giant cheeseheads contract in sub-zero temperatures creating a serious concussion risk

6.  Scott Walker's draconian cuts mean state workers can no longer afford basic necessities like tickets to Packers playoff games 

5. Would rather stay home and watch grainy super 8 film of Super Bowl I

4. New Years' Eve DWI arrests blew huge hole in season ticket base

3. Mass disappointment in Aaron Rodgers' announcement that he's not gay

2. In hindsight, decision to sell Packer playoff tickets online on same sites as Obamacare exchanges was probably a bad idea

1. The Packers do not have good fans


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