Friday, May 10, 2013

Mark Dayton’s Top 11 Surprise Ways to Finance the New Vikings Stadium

One of the key funding mechanisms for the new Vikings stadium, revenue from electronic pull tabs, has lagged far behind projections.  In a press conference Wednesday, Governor Dayton announced that he has a back-up plan for making up the shortfall, but that the plan is “a surprise”. 

The investigative journalists at Nihilist in Golf Pants have uncovered Mark Dayton’s top 11 surprise ways to finance the new Vikings stadium: *spoiler alert*

11. Sell the Renoirs at the Minneapolis Institute of Arts

10. Gay wedding tax

9. Create a new Futility Tax to be imposed on the Wild every time they fail to score a goal on the power play during the playoffs
8. Borrow the trillion dollar coin from President Obama

7. Three-and-out tax

6. Declare anyone going through MSP airport a resident and make them file MN state income tax

5. Annex North Dakota and tax the people creating jobs there

4. Punter excise tax

3. Raise the beer excise tax 6000% as the DFL's current 600% proposal is mere peanuts

2. Set up a trust in South Dakota to fund it, and build it in Wisconsin with non-union labor

1. Convince out of state donors that building a plush Vikings stadium will help defeat Michele Bachmann


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