Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Rotten Tomatoes

The United States Department of Homeland Security released a statement dismissing threatened attacks on American movie theaters showing the new Sony film, "The Interview," starring inept morons James Franco and Seth Rogan:

We are still analyzing the credibility of these statements, but at this time there is no credible intelligence to indicate an active plot against movie theaters within the United States.

Threats from an unknown source evoked scenarios of September 11, 2001 in and around movie theaters showing the film. While the warning alluded to threats of violence, there was a ring of truth within (emphasis mine):

Warning
We will clearly show it to you at the very time and places “The Interview” be shown, including the premiere, how bitter fate those who seek fun in terror should be doomed to.
Soon all the world will see what an awful movie Sony Pictures Entertainment has made.
The world will be full of fear.
Remember the 11th of September 2001.
We recommend you to keep yourself distant from the places at that time.
(If your house is nearby, you’d better leave.)

Sony is trying to spin the cancellation of theatres scheduled to screen "The Interview" as being out of concern for the safety of patrons and employees. However, it's far more likely that these chains decisions are based on the quality of the film.

Millions are theater-goers are likely to suffer if this film is shown. While violence is a remote possibility, wooden acting, a nonsensical plot, and clichéd jokes are a near certainty.

                  
 

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