This Clip From "Married With Children" Is Even More Relevant Today

I don't normally post the work of others without comment, but this is just too good.

Top 11 Obama Plans to Diffuse the Situation In Baltimore

11. Have Michelle visit the city to encourage more Whole Foods to open so rioters have healthier looting options

10. Point out to rioters that their actions are only creating more racist murdering police

9.  Offer to cave in to all demonstrators' demands while getting nothing in return (the Cuba/Iran playbook) 

8.  Send Amy Klobuchar back to the corn field to come up with some fresh ideas

 

7.  Send Tweet:  #FundmentallyTransformAmerica  Wait, you thought I was serious about that?

6.  Issue a statement: Sure the rioting in Baltimore was disturbing, but we shouldn't get on a high horse & ignore the far more horrific sacking of Jerusalem during the First Crusade

5.  Pledge to drive out legacy of racism left over from last Republican Mayor Theodore McKeldin in 1967

4.  Send Al Sharpton in to calm the situation

3.  Have his economic advisors explain how riots actually act as Keynesian stimulators and thus are good for the economy

2.  Appear at event with local sports heroes Ray Rice and Ray Lewis to condemn violence
 
1.  Go off to play golf and hope everything somehow works itself out (the Obama Doctrine)

HWX: Head Like a Hole

It’s a very special midweek edition of HWX, with Brian Ward of Fraters Libertas and Paul Happe of the Nihlist in Golf Pants reconvening to discuss the critical issues of our times.  Topics addressed include:

*  Spring has finally sprung in Minnesota,  info on pre-emergent crabgrass herbicide, a poetry reading, and questions about where the new leaves on the trees come from.

*  Positive evidence of global warming, and we feel fine about it.

* Hillary Clinton officially announces her Presidential run, and we offer our advice and demos for campaign theme song (with strategic appearances by Tammy Wynette, the Smiths, and Nine Inch Nails).

*  This Week in Gate Keeping – featuring PBS and the cover up of Ben Affleck’s notorious relatives and the New York Times blows an obituary.

*  A celebrity salute to Earth Day, with Mike Nelson.               

All feedback from Ricochet members welcome in the comments section.   Did you love the show?  Did you hate it?  Did it inspire boundless waves of apathy?  We want to know!  Hope you enjoy (but we can’t be sure).

Top 11 Iranian Concessions In Obama's Nuclear Deal

11. Replace future references to "Death to America" with calls to "fundamentally transform America"

10. Reduce carbon footprint associated with the stoning of infidels by half by 2050

9.  Lots of pistachios

8.  Iran agrees to allow one nuclear inspector (provided it is Joe Wilson)

7.  Massive donation to The Clinton Global Initiative

6.  Will relative US of burden of military leadership on middle east

5.  Will force all Iranian pizza parlors to cater all Iranian gay weddings 

4.  John Kerry granted windsurfing rights in Iranian territorial waters

3.  Will help hold Russia in check by buying up much of their advanced military hardware

2.  Agrees to behead two Christians for every homosexual executed

1.  Will wait until a Republican is President before nuking Israel

Top 11 Suggested Tweets for Hillary's Presidential Candidacy Announcement

According to reports, sometime tomorrow @HillaryClinton will announce her candidacy for President of the United States via Twitter.  As a gesture of bipartisan cooperation, here are our suggested Tweets for the occasion.

11)  Ready for Hillary, or are you some sort of misogynist?  #noh8in2016

10)  Stick it to the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy, one more time  #VoteHillary2016

9)  My husband was blown by an intern so I deserve this.

8)  If I have to spend time in Iowa for nothing again, there will be hell to pay. #NotAThreatAPromise

7)  Vote Hillary. At least you’ve heard of me.

6)  Give yourself over to the dark side. Use your anger as a weapon. #Vote Hillary!

5) My Republican opponent [FILL IN NAME] is an ignorant, hateful threat to our children.  #VoteHillary2016

4)  Time to #RESET the nation.

3)  It’s my turn, dammit!

2)  Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.

1)  Vote for me for President.  At this point, what difference does it make?

Spring Fever With Clark Griffith

It’s a special midweek edition of HWX, with Brian Ward of Fraters Libertas and Paul Happe of the Nihilist in Golf Pants reconvening to discuss the critical issues of the day. Topics addressed include:

• The looming tax deadline and the odds that we got our returns correct.
• The looming announcement of Hillary Clinton’s presidential candidacy and our attempt to play by the Hillary rules of appropriate discourse.
• the Indiana religious freedom imbroglio and the rapidly changing, and quickening pace of societal change.
• The return of This Week in Gate Keeping with the Rolling Stone correction and lack of contrition.

We also talked some baseball with Minnesota’s grand man of the game, former Twins co-owner Clark Griffith. He opines on the current state of the game and reminisces about the old days with the Washington Senators and stealing items from Harry Truman’s desk
Please Support Ricochet by Supporting our Sponsors
HWX is sponsored by Swon Tax Preparation. Need help with your taxes before April 15. Fear not, you are not alone. The fine folks at Swon Tax Prep will make time for you. Be it an individual return, a business return, whatever it may be, our friend Jon Swon can help. He offers a full suite of tax services, customized to meet your goals. He’s based here in MN, but has clients around the country. If you need help, check him out at SwonTaxPrep.com.
Go to Ricochet.com/hwx to become a member and get your first 30 days free. Listen at https://ricochet.com/podcasts/spring-fever-with-clark-griffith/ or at the sidebar.

Top 11 Alternate Titles for Amy Klobuchar’s Memoir

Senator Amy Klobuchar's memoir is coming out later this year and her editors are going with the title The Senator Next Door: A Memoir from the Heartland.  We're not sure that is quite descriptive enough.  Here are our Top 11 other suggestions for the title to Amy Klobuchar's memoir:

11)  Don't Drink the Salad Dressing:  Pro Tips from the Senate Dining Room

10)  Pull My Finger:  The Wit and Wisdom of America’s Funniest Senator

9)  Boredom and the Boring Bores Who Bear It

8)  Senator Juggalo: My Love Affair with Insane Clown Posse

7)  The Unbearable Lightness of Beating Kurt Bills and Mark Kennedy

6)  Thanks Dad: On the Importance of Name Recognition in Winning Elections

5)  How To Win Friends And Influence People By Offering Nothing Of Substance

4)  If I Hear that Stupid Stuart Smalley Voice One More Time I Am Jamming this Gavel Down Franken's Throat

3)  Wuss: The Real Norm Van Broklin and How My Dad Kicked His Butt

2)  Profiles in Courage:  The War for America’s Heart and My Service as 4th Ranking Minority Member on the U.S. Senate Commerce Subcommittee on Surface Transportation and Merchant Marine Infrastructure Safety and Security

1) Nice and Bland: The Minnesota Recipe for Success

First Ever Top 111 List

Top 111 Words or Terms that Hillary Rodham Clinton has banned the media from mentioning during her Presidential Campaign:

1947

2008

50 shades of gray

50 Shades ofGrey

Accomplishments

Accountability

Accounting

Afghanistan

Anti-christ

Atheist

Benghazi

Bill

Botox

Bubba

Cankles

Cattle futures

Chelsea

Cialis

Cleveland Steamer

Communist

Constitution

Controllinglegalauthority

Cookies

Corrupt

Cubs

Dementia

Democracy

Divorce

Drudge

Drunk

Egypt

Entitlement

Entitlements

Erectionlastinglongerthan4hours

Fellatio

Fembot

Fission

foggy bottom

Foreign contributions

Foundation

Fraters Libertas

Freedom

Freedom of Information Act

God

Gore

Gorilla Cookies

Hard drive

Hard on

Herpes

Hillarycare

Housing bubble

Huma

Hummer

Illegal

Iran

Iraq

Is

Israel

Keystone

Lewinski

Libya

Loretta Lynn

Mama Cass

MargaretHamilton

McCain

Net worth

NFLconcussionstudy

North Korea

Obamacare

Obstructionofjustice

Orgywith DerekJeter

Paleface

Patriotism

Pig

Policy

Red

Reset

Rodham

Rude

Russia

Saudi

Separation

Server

Sex island

Sexual Harrassment

Sham marriage

Socialist

Soros

Speaking fee

Stalinist

Steyer

Stinky pinky

Stroke

Subpoena

Taxes

TCP/IP

Teenage Sex Slave

Third term

Tipper

Travel office

Ukraine

Viagara

Walter White

Warren

Water

Weener

White

Whitewater

Wiener

Yankees

Yemen