Top 11 Alternate Titles for Amy Klobuchar’s Memoir

Senator Amy Klobuchar's memoir is coming out later this year and her editors are going with the title The Senator Next Door: A Memoir from the Heartland.  We're not sure that is quite descriptive enough.  Here are our Top 11 other suggestions for the title to Amy Klobuchar's memoir:

11)  Don't Drink the Salad Dressing:  Pro Tips from the Senate Dining Room

10)  Pull My Finger:  The Wit and Wisdom of America’s Funniest Senator

9)  Boredom and the Boring Bores Who Bear It

8)  Senator Juggalo: My Love Affair with Insane Clown Posse

7)  The Unbearable Lightness of Beating Kurt Bills and Mark Kennedy

6)  Thanks Dad: On the Importance of Name Recognition in Winning Elections

5)  How To Win Friends And Influence People By Offering Nothing Of Substance

4)  If I Hear that Stupid Stuart Smalley Voice One More Time I Am Jamming this Gavel Down Franken's Throat

3)  Wuss: The Real Norm Van Broklin and How My Dad Kicked His Butt

2)  Profiles in Courage:  The War for America’s Heart and My Service as 4th Ranking Minority Member on the U.S. Senate Commerce Subcommittee on Surface Transportation and Merchant Marine Infrastructure Safety and Security

1) Nice and Bland: The Minnesota Recipe for Success