Top 11 Iranian Concessions In Obama's Nuclear Deal

11. Replace future references to "Death to America" with calls to "fundamentally transform America"

10. Reduce carbon footprint associated with the stoning of infidels by half by 2050

9.  Lots of pistachios

8.  Iran agrees to allow one nuclear inspector (provided it is Joe Wilson)

7.  Massive donation to The Clinton Global Initiative

6.  Will relative US of burden of military leadership on middle east

5.  Will force all Iranian pizza parlors to cater all Iranian gay weddings 

4.  John Kerry granted windsurfing rights in Iranian territorial waters

3.  Will help hold Russia in check by buying up much of their advanced military hardware

2.  Agrees to behead two Christians for every homosexual executed

1.  Will wait until a Republican is President before nuking Israel