Top 11 Things We'd Rather Do Than Watch The Olympic Opening Ceremonies

11. Work late

10. Clean up after dinner

9. Mow the lawn

8. Watch campaign commercials

7. Wash our hair

6. Hit golf balls at the driving range

5. Have a drink on the patio

4. Watch a James Bond film with Sean Connery or at least Roger Moore

3. Watch the Twins cruise to an easy victory over Cleveland

2. Hang out at the Miss Hawaiian Tropic pageant

1. Put on an old Beatles record and hear "Hey Jude" sung in the proper key