If Conservatives Ran Hollywood
Editor's note: This post is the first in a new series that explores how the films of today would be different if Hollywood wasn't run by the liberal establishment. This post and subsequent posts in this series are film reviews that take place in the bizarro world where patriotic Americans produce films that demonstrate conservative bias.
Dr. Seuss is arguably the greatest author of children's books. So it is exciting to see a big budget animated version of another of his classics hit the big screen.
Seuss' books are fun for kids and adults alike, but this one contains an important political message that can educate moviegoers of all ages. As we see the title character's struggles with his ideological opponents it is easy to conclude that he is a proxy for none other than President Obama.
We give the new Dr. Seuss film, "Yertle the Turtle" a five star review. At the beginning of the film, Yertle has just become king of the turtles. He won this role promising hope and change from the policies of his predecessor Snapper W Turtle. Yertle promised to heal the partisan divide that pitted turtle against turtle.
Sitting in his oval rock, Yertle believed that he should decide how the turtles ran their business in the swamp. He bailed out the turtle unions and ran up a huge debt. Eventually, he decided that some of the turtle businessmen weren't doing their fair share. So he made them form a throne for him to sit on. He liked sitting on his political enemies, so he made more and more of them build his throne higher and higher: the turtle oil executives, bankers, and the bishops of the turtle Church had to build up Yertle's throne. The higher he got, the more he wanted.
"I'm king of this swamp, and I'm king of a cow,
and healthcare and green turtle energy now," Yertle exclaimed.
The turtles on the bottom of Yertle's throne complained, but Yertle wouldn't listen. Then, one November day some turtles at the bottom of the throne burped and Yertle fell into the mud as the other turtles rejoiced.
Dr. Seuss is arguably the greatest author of children's books. So it is exciting to see a big budget animated version of another of his classics hit the big screen.
Seuss' books are fun for kids and adults alike, but this one contains an important political message that can educate moviegoers of all ages. As we see the title character's struggles with his ideological opponents it is easy to conclude that he is a proxy for none other than President Obama.
We give the new Dr. Seuss film, "Yertle the Turtle" a five star review. At the beginning of the film, Yertle has just become king of the turtles. He won this role promising hope and change from the policies of his predecessor Snapper W Turtle. Yertle promised to heal the partisan divide that pitted turtle against turtle.
Sitting in his oval rock, Yertle believed that he should decide how the turtles ran their business in the swamp. He bailed out the turtle unions and ran up a huge debt. Eventually, he decided that some of the turtle businessmen weren't doing their fair share. So he made them form a throne for him to sit on. He liked sitting on his political enemies, so he made more and more of them build his throne higher and higher: the turtle oil executives, bankers, and the bishops of the turtle Church had to build up Yertle's throne. The higher he got, the more he wanted.
"I'm king of this swamp, and I'm king of a cow,
and healthcare and green turtle energy now," Yertle exclaimed.
The turtles on the bottom of Yertle's throne complained, but Yertle wouldn't listen. Then, one November day some turtles at the bottom of the throne burped and Yertle fell into the mud as the other turtles rejoiced.
posted by Nihilist in Golf Pants at 3/17/2012 04:20:00 PM
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