Top 11 Planned Prosecutions For Eric Holder

11. The caddy who sneezed during President Obama’s backswing

10. The sun for causing global warning

9. Scott Rasmussen

8. The cop who arrested Obama’s uncle

7. Any Republican named Irene running an unlicensed lemonade stand

6. The Koch brothers

5. Arizona sheriffs caught deporting illegal aliens

4. The three Fates for causing the “run of bad luck” that Obama has experienced lately

3. People who refuse to buy medical insurance

2. The CIA agents who got a confession from Khalid Sheik Mohammed

1. Jimmy Page