Foot And Mouth Disease

Our good friend LearnedFoot is officially a missing person. His whereabouts have been unknown since 3 pm last Sunday. While no one seems to know where he is, we have a top 11 list of likely speculations regarding his whereabouts:

11. Naked in the fetal position in his basement muttering, "how bout dem Badgers?"

10. Alcohol induced coma

9. Stockpiling ammo and listening to “Sons of Liberty” podcasts

8. Jail

7. Cloistered at a monastery in Tibet trying to find meaning in life

6. Preparing a class action lawsuit against Brett Favre for alienation of affection against the residents of the state of Wisconsin

5. After losing faith in God, joined the Democrat party and was last seen door knocking for RT Rybak in south Minneapolis

4. Ranting accusations that his wife is leaving him for Jeff Fecke

3. Reenacting the penultimate scene of "The Deer Hunter"

2. In his bathroom, secretly experiencing a tender moment in his new purple #4 jersey

1. Now blogging under the name Barthélemy Barbancourt at Anti Strib