Top 11Reasons St. Paul Mayor Chris Coleman Isn't Running for Governor

11) Couldn't bear to challenge fellow "Brokeback Mayor" RT Rybak

10) Already closed a deal with Norm to buy his old "Coleman for Senate" yard signs

9) Concerned it would call into question the journalistic integrity of brother Nick's Twitter feed and lose him dozens of followers

8) Most of campaign staff and volunteers unavailable until ACORN funding resumes

7) Like most St. Paul residents, he's afraid to venture west of Highway 280

6) Was informed that Joe Biden was coming to town to campaign for him

5) Realized he would not longer be able to blame his failed policies on a Republican in a higher office withholding funds

4) Afraid that the extra media attention of a Governor’s race would lead voters to discover that he isn’t Norm Coleman

3) Depressed at the thought that he would have to spend significant time hanging out with Mark Dayton, Matt Entenza, John Marty, Tom Rukavina, etc. for months to come

2) Learned that Jesse Ventura's son is still living in attic of Governor's mansion

1) Feels he can't abandon St. Paul until he raises taxes a few more times