Top 11 David Letterman Excuses for Having Affairs with Underlings

11. He's gotta plead ignorance because he wasn't aware that that sort of thing was frowned upon when he started working at CBS.

10. CBS kept cutting his staff’s salary and benefits and he felt he should do something special for them

9. Did it as a tribute to the late Senator Edward Kennedy

8. In the right light, Paul Schaeffer is just irresistible

7. Did it to protest the climate of fear and repression fostered by the Bush Administration

6. Working under theory that having affairs with staffers was the secret to John Edwards’ spectacular hair

5. CBS probably shouldn’t have brought in Whoopi Goldberg to conduct their sexual harassment training

4. Wanted to give Mark Sanford material for his stand up act

3. Women tend to throw themselves at top 1x list writers

2. In a Gilligan's Island type accident, he hit his head and thought he was Charlie Sheen

1. Was told it was ok if he was sufficiently liberal