Friday, September 11, 2009

Top 11 Reasons Obama is Coming to the Target Center on Saturday to Promote His Health Care Reforms

11) Wants to use the Timberwolves as an example of another dysfunctional, expensive, and under performing system

10) Will emphasize no health care for illegal immigrants, unless Ricky Rubio comes here

9) Will promise to finally find a cure for Michael Williams' plantar fasciitis

8) Trying to piggy back on the success and popularity of the Minnesota Lynx

7) Seats in the upper deck are too far away to hear the shouts of "you lie!"

6) Will conduct public flogging of local United Health Care executives

5) Figured a city that elected Keith Ellison and RT Rybak would fall for anything

4) Based on tip by Janet Napolitano, staking out dangerous right-wing militia known as the "United States Air Force football team" gathering across town at TCF Field

3) Will propose that all Americans start wearing spiffy red shirts like Target employees do

2) Strategically located to disrupt traffic to the MOB party and thus hobble opposition

1) Downtown Minneapolis is full of tea baggers

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