Top 11 REAL reasons King Banaian is leaving NARN

It has been announced that King Banaian, founding member of the Northern Alliance Radio Network, is ending the Final Word radio program on AM1280 the Patriot and starting a new show, Saturdays from 9 - 11 AM on sister station KYRC (AM 1570).

Rumors are swirling about his motivations. Here are the Top 11 most likely reasons he is leaving NARN:

11) Court order, due to losing false advertising case about calling his show "The Final Word"

10) The Sons of Liberty were making menacing comments about King being one of the trees of tyranny

9) Solved all problems related to US economy on last show, didn't have anything else to talk about

8) Noticed KYRC studio has comfortable chairs and working headphones

7) Bumped off by new AM1280 radio consultant Turk Wendell

6) Thought it would be easier to buy the St. Louis Rams if he were on a less controversial radio station

5) Refused to open his show with “Hi, how in the world are you anyway?”

4) The Patriot felt he was too soft on the Federal Reserve

3) Saturday 3pm - 5pm time slot wasn't as lucrative as he imagined

2) Been waiting a long time to kick David Strom's ass in the ratings

1) After The Patriot made him renounce his vegetarianism, he was scared of what he'd have to give up at the State Fair next year