Top 11 Reasons The University Of Minnesota Will Join The Big Ten Hockey Conference

11. Losing to Nebraska doesn't sound quite as bad as losing to Nebraska-Omaha

10. U of M wants to help continue the process of deconstructing racist, sexist notions of mathematics and the meaning of numbers

9. Wanted to appease the 62 people still alive who relish the days of the Minnesota-Michigan hockey rivalry

8. Insurance will no longer cover games against the hacks at University North Dakota

7. Makes it easier to recruit in hockey hotbeds of Indiana and Iowa

6. Coach Lucia likes odds of finishing in top five much better

5. No longer have to worry about getting beaten by "Gopher rejects" at UMD, St. Cloud, Mankato, and Bemidji State

4.Gopher hockey players were jealous that their football and basketball counterparts get to lose more games to Michigan and Ohio State

3. Players will feel better about themselves losing to Penn State than losing to Mankato State

2. Last condition that needed to be met before Devil officially takes possession of Sid Hartman's soul

1. Adding travel cost is a great way for the University to say F*** You to Minnesota taxpayers