Here Comes The Story Of The Hurricane Machine, Or Be Careful Using The Nuclear Option

A few years ago when George W. Bush was President and the Republican Party had a Senate Majority, the Democratic minority blocked the appointment of several federal judicial nominations by exploiting a parlaimentary procedure. At that time, there was discussion that the Republicans should thwart this strategy by changing the parlaimentary rules. This was referred to by the media as the Nuclear Option. Equating a procedural change to reduce the requirement of votes from 60 to 51 might seem like a boring adminstrative maneuver, but the media has never failed to sensationalize any action that Republicans or conservatives might take to further their agenda.

Many argued that the Republicans shouldn't use the so called nuclear option, reasoning that once Republicans used it then Democrats would be free to use it later. In the end, John McCain brokered an agreement to approve some of the judges, and the standoff was settled.

Later in Bush's administration, he was criticized for his handling of Hurricane Katrina. Bush was accused of using military technology to develope a weather changing machine capable of creating a hurricane. In fact, Bush was accused of using this machine against New Orleans, because he hated black people.

Fast forward to 2011, where President Barack Obama, with his distaste for using fossil fuels to make America productive and prosperous, was close to being forced to allow expansion of nuclear power. This was the case because Obama's preferred sources of wind, solar and biofuels simply don't work well enough to power America's fuel requirements. Nuclear is the only non-fossil alternative that does work well, but the environmentalist constituency that Obama represents hate it. How could Obama find a way to end public support for nuclear power? Could the Bush hurricane machine help him?

Unfortunately, Bush should have listened to the argument that once a precedent is set for using a tool at your disposal, the other side can use it later. Obama obviously redesigned the hurricane machine to create an earthquake. The earthquake would cause a tsunami, which would destroy a nuclear power plant, which would lead to a nuclear moritorium for another generation. Since nuclear accidents are genuinely dangerous, this would have to be done half way around the world. It's so simple that the President would have enough time to work on fixing the NCAA basketball tournament so his bracket would look really great.