There's A Rumor Going 'Round; Someone's Underground

Nihilist In Golf Pants editors are investigating reports that Attorney General Eric Holder replaced the documentation for the presidential pardon of Courage, the Thanksgiving Day turkey with paperwork pardoning 9/11 mastermind Khalid Sheikh Muhammad.

At this point, we just don't know whether or not the pardon switch happened or whether it was intentional or a typical result of Obama administration incompetence. We promise to get to the bottom of the situation after the Thanksgiving Day nap that follows our feast on unpardoned bird.