Sunday, March 29, 2009

You're Doing A Heckuva Job, Brownie

Political commentator Kanye West broke the news that President George W Bush caused the suffering in New Orleans around Hurricane Katrina because he, "hates black people."

Today the residents of Fargo, North Dakota and Moorhead, Minnesota are battling flooding that could destroy their cities much like Katrina devastated the New Orleans. The question they all want to know is, does Barack Obama hate white people as much as George W. Bush hates black people. So far, since the destruction in the Red River Valley has not equaled the Katrina destruction, many people believe he does not harbor the same kind of hatred. But it's hard to know for sure, because Presidents of the United States have been reluctant to discuss how much they hate certain races. Their reluctance to discuss their racial hatred makes them cowards (source: Attorney General Eric Holder) and serves as further proof of their racism.

So far, like President Bush did with Katrina, President Obama is pretending to express concern for the victims of the disaster. He has mirrored Bush's empty actions of declaring the area a disaster and sending FEMA in to "help" the victims. Adding insult to injury, he has sent in the same US Army Corps of Engineers that failed New Orleans to the Red River Valley. Can't we all just get along?

Meanwhile, residents of the area are doing the only thing they can do, petitioning Barack Obama for mercy. Notice the sneaky code word they use for the President:

"At a time like this, we need to call on God's providential assistance," said the Rev. Bob Ona, pastor of Fargo's First Assembly of God church.

They are also proving that they aren't as smart as the Katrina victims. They are actually trying to protect their property from flooding, instead of profiting from looting. As expected, their efforts have not been fully successful:

The helicopter sandbag effort was focused on an area of the river that put another scare into the city during the night when it burst past a levee and submerged a Lutheran school campus.

Oak Grove Lutheran Principal Morgan Forness said city officials, the Army Corps of Engineers, and the National Guard unsuccessfully tried to contain the gushing water after a floodwall buckled around 1:30 a.m. The water kept spreading and "we couldn't contain it. ... it's inundating all of the buildings," Forness said.

"The campus is basically devastated. They fought the good fight. They lost, and there's nothing wrong with that," Mayor Dennis Walaker said. "Those things will continue to happen. I guarantee it."

Silly Lutherans, putting their faith in God. His power is nothing compared to the mighty fortress that is our Federal Government.


Blogger John F Not Kerry said...

"They are actually trying to protect their property from flooding, instead of profiting from looting."

Have you been to Fargo? There isn't much to loot.

7:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A flood wall collapsed? A sand bag flood wall or a permanent structure? Was it over topped by flood water? Was it knocked down by a big sandbag hanging from a helicopter? What happened?

11:22 PM  
Blogger DiscordianStooge said...

Aw, man, I was really hoping for a dike joke.

3:05 PM  
Blogger LearnedFoot said...

Here you go Stoo:

Good thing Media Matters wasn't around when GMV was released.

8:02 AM  

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