Top 11 Ways to Spend Your AIG Bonus

11. A new cottage in Ireland

10. Bacon! Bacon! Bacon!

9. Hire Tom Daschle to lobby for a larger bailout

8. Gold, after all the stock market is going to hell

7. Hire a shrewd tax attorney

6. Buy the New York Times to get some better publicity

5. Three words: Obama commemorative plates

4. Sponsor a local right wing radio program (cheap)

3. Finish and arm your underground bunker

2. Box set of 25 Classic DVDs

1. New top hat and monocle