The Sisyphus Interview: Alexis Debat

The Sisyphus Interview is a series of insightful, fake but accurate, interviews with newsmakers. Here, Sisyphus pretends to interview journalist Alexis Debat, a former consultant for ABC News who now works for the Nixon Center. Debat has recently been accused of making up phony interviews with real newsmakers.

SISYPHUS:
Thanks for agreeing to this interview Mr. Debat, it took a great deal of courage for you to agree to talk with such a vicious interviewer as myself.

DEBAT:
I feel that a no-holds-barred interview with the smartest and toughest interviewer in the blogosphere is the best way to prove to everyone my complete innocence. I thank you for this opportunity.

SISYPHUS:
We’ll see if you’re still singing that tune after the interview. You say that you interviewed Barrack Obama, but he denies that the interview ever took place. How do you explain that?

DEBAT:
Obama is a politician. Perhaps you’ve never heard this before, but politicians lie. They lie all the time – it is their job. On the other hand, it is the job of journalists to tell the truth.

SISYPHUS:
Okay, good point. ABC actually fired you over your resume. You said you had a Ph.D. from the Sorbonne, but the Sorbonne has denied granting you one.

DEBAT:
That was a screw up by the Sorbonne. Look, if I were to make up a phony Ph.D., why would I say it was from the Sorbonne? I would claim it was from Oxford or Appalachia State, or somewhere good like that.

SISYPHUS:
Hmmmmmmm. You do seem to have a good answer for everything. Almost too good. How do I know that you’re not just a big fat smooth liar?

DEBAT:
Look where I’m currently working. Would the Nixon Center hire a big fat smooth liar? The Clinton Center, maybe, but not the Nixon Center.

SISYPHUS:
Okay, okay, I have to ask these tough questions, but I believe you. Tell me about some of your favorite interviews.

DEBAT:
I would say that my favorite interview was with Clint Eastwood. He introduced me to his daughter, and she and I did it afterwards.

SISYPHUS:
That reminds me of the time I interviewed Miss Venezuela 2007. We did it afterwards, too. I never posted the interview because I’m a gentleman. Of course, that was before my boycott of doing Miss Venezuela’s in protest of the Hugo Chavez regime. Who have you interviewed, non-sexually?

DEBAT:
Oh, all the big ones. Barrack Obama, Kofi Annan, Obnoxious Packer Guy.

SISYPHUS:
Is that all? I thought you were big time. I myself have interviewed James Webb, Killer Swampee (the rabbit who attacked Jimmy Carter), and Cynical Vikings Guy. Maybe I should work at ABC News!

DEBAT:
You should, I’ll give you ABC’s number.

SISYPHUS:
Sweet! This interview is over! On to the big time!