Wednesday, November 08, 2006

First With Election Results

The polls have closed, and we have a winner in the "You So Ugly" Election contest.

It's not often that Wendy Wilde is the most attractive lady in the room, but she finished this election that way, garnering a mere 3% of the vote. That's even less than the paltry amount she will get in her race against Jim Ramstad.

Hillary Clinton is carpetbagging again. However, Minnesota voters aren't as gullible as New Yorkers, as she finishes second to last with only 16%. I guess she won't be staying home baking gorilla cookies with her face.

Patty Wetterling finished a disappointing third with 19%. In her House race, victim status has prevented her opponents from attacking her despite her utter lack of qualifications. This status must also have prevented people from wanting to calling her "ugly."

Amy Klobuchar nearly snagged a double victory tonight. She will replace Mark Dayton as Minnesota's Senatorial disgrace, but will fail to win the "You So Ugly" contest, despite garnering an impressive 27% of the vote with a late surge.

This leads to our winner, Colleen Rowley. She proved to be an unattractive candidate in more ways than one. She won with a 35% plurality of our vote. That's a similar number to her finish against congressman John Kline. Rowley is famous as a whistle-blower. Now we know that it's because the voters of the second district make her blow that whistle so they can shield their eyes when they know she's coming. Smile Colleen! You're the winner of the 2006 "You So Ugly" election contest.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

she looks like a communist german

3:33 PM  
Anonymous Che said...

Wow... what an incredible moron you are. Your smugliness is really nauseating. Do you really think that the New Feudalism is going to work? Wait until you meet up with the American Insurgency...

4:39 PM  
Anonymous Rosa Luxemburg said...

Yeah, you running dog capitalist moron. The day will come when the people will rise up and put an end to your New Fedalism and smugliness once and for.

4:52 PM  

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