Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Top 11 Reasons to Donate to the Atomizer for Heart Walk 2011

11) Other than trips to the bar fridge to get more ice for his gin, it's likely to be the only exercise he gets all year

10) All of the money Atomizer raises will be earmarked for heart health programs that DO NOT involve curtailing smoking or drinking

9) He's not just a fundraiser for the charity, he's a future customer

8) He refuses to blog anymore until he raises $1,000

7) If you don’t sponsor him, he will move to LA to build a stadium for the Vikings

6) Because the image of a guy smoking two packs of Camels during a Heart Walk is priceless

5) It will excuse you from getting invitations for his Anus Run 2012

4) Someone needs to make up for the fact that the Nihilist is too cheap to pledge

3) Because all the money raised by Atomizer will go toward trying to instill some heart into the Twins

2) Because if you don't, you're a hateful extremist bigot (according to the DFL)

1) He'd pledge for you; that is, if he didn't hate people

But seriously, he's really walking for a charity and you can help. Please donate here.


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