The Following Song Parody Is True

I wrote it while reflecting on a recent west coast trip where all the First Class upgrades were given out to platinum level flyers. Unfortunately I am merely gold level. Sung to the tune of the Peter, Paul and Mary song, "Leaving On A Jet Plane."

I'm ... I'm ...

All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go
I'm sitting here right at mt PC
I’m checking in, they must be shittin’ me

But the dawn is breakin', it's early morn
The taxi's waitin', he's blowin' his horn
Already I feel like I’ve been sentenced to die

So pity me and cry for me
Tell me that you'll pray for me
I’ll be packed in tight like I’m in the cargo hold

'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane
First Class full, I’m stuck in coach again
Oh, babe, I hate to go

I'm ...

There's so many times the airline’s let me down
After the miles I’ve flown around
I'll tell you now, I need a BBJ

Every place I sit, I need more leg room
A four hour flight stinks without decent food
And I didn’t even mention paying for drinks

So pity me and cry for me
Tell me that you'll pray for me
I’ll be packed in tight like I’m in the cargo hold

'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane
First Class full, I’m stuck in coach again
Oh, babe, I hate to go

Now the time has come for me to board
One more aisle fatso, don’t sit next to me
I’ll close my eyes and try to sleep

Dream about a flight in first class
When the stewardess will pamper my ass
And a coach class won’t exist for me that day ...

Oh, pity me and cry for me
Tell me that you'll pray for me
I’ll be packed in tight like I’m in the cargo hold

'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane
First Class full, I’m stuck in coach again
Oh, babe, I hate to go

And I'm leaving on a jet plane
First Class full, I’m stuck in coach again
Oh, babe, I hate to go

But I'm leaving on a jet plane
(Ah ah ah ah)
Leaving on a jet plane
(Ah ah ah ah)
Leaving on a jet plane
(Ah ah ah ah)
Leaving on a jet plane
(Ah ah ah ah)
Leaving on a jet plane
(Ah ah ah ah)
Leaving on a jet plane
(Ah ah ah ah)
Leaving on a jet plane
(Ah ah ah ah)
Leaving on a jet plane
(Ah ah ah ah)
(Leaving) On a jet plane