In Search of LAUGHTER at the Alito Hearing: Day One
(LAUGHTER)
(LAUGHTER)
Grassley shows good instincts by taking a jab at Kennedy, but it could have used more zing. Next time try something like this:
I have a much more positive view of Judge Alito – what’s your problem Teddy? Couldn’t you find a case where he gave the defendant a slap on the wrist after he drove his secretary off a bridge?
And then Senator Lautenberg and Governor Whitman to make the formal presentation of Judge Alito. And then Judge Alito's opening statement. So, at this time, we will adjourn and we will reconvene at 2:10.
Pardon me. We're going to proceed with you, Senator Feingold.
(LAUGHTER)
FEINGOLD: Thank you, Mr. Chairman, I think.
SPECTER: This is called the potted plant routine, Russ.
(LAUGHTER)
FEINGOLD: Thank you, Mr. Chairman.
SPECTER: I was so anxious for the recess, I jumped the gun a little.
(LAUGHTER)
And welcome back, Judge. I'd hate for you to miss my opening statement.
(LAUGHTER)
GRAHAM: The question is: Are you a mainstream conservative?
Well, the question I have for my colleagues is: Who would you ask to find out? Would you ask Senator Kennedy? Probably not.
If you asked me who a mainstream liberal is, I would be the worst person to pick, because I do not hang out over there.
(LAUGHTER)
Ted Kennedy Humor 101 – Work in a reference to one or more of the following:
1) Chappaquiddick (or his driving/swimming skills)
2) Ted’s heavy drinking
3) Ted’s philandering
4) Ted’s Weight
He's a young man. If the Senate confirms him for a lifetime appointment to the Supreme Court, he could serve for three decades or even longer, especially judging it from my point of view.
(LAUGHTER)
(LAUGHTER)
We appreciate your coming, Senator Lautenberg.
We appreciate your coming, Governor Whitman.
And now, Judge Alito, if you will resume center stage.
We now come to the -- you can remain standing. We've come to the formal swearing in of a nominee. I count 41 cameras in the well.
(LAUGHTER)
And, just behind you, a grouping of cameras of seven in number. And I see three more, so you're well up to 50, which exceeds the number present, only 28 for Chief Justice Roberts, so that may be an omen.
I'm stalling for time a little bit here to allow the photographers to position themselves.
(LAUGHTER)
SPECTER: They have sat patiently -- impatiently all day.
We may move the swearing in to the beginning of the ceremony in the future so they can all go out and do something productive.
(LAUGHTER)
During that time, I have sat on thousands of cases -- somebody mentioned the exact figure this morning; I don't know what the exact figure is, but it is way up into the thousands -- and I have written hundreds of opinions.
And the members of this committee and the members of their staff, who have had the job of reviewing all of those opinions, really have my sympathy.
(LAUGHTER)
I think that may have constituted cruel and unusual punishment.
(LAUGHTER)
Chairman Specter 7
Judge Alito 3
Senator Graham 2
Senator Grassley 1
Senator Lautenberg 1
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