Sunday, July 24, 2005

Communiqué

TO: Vast Right Wing Conspiracy
FROM: You Know Who
SUBJECT: Everything is going according to plan

My Dear Neocon Minions,
Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh, heh. Everything is going according to the plan I outlined in our last communication. Our dupes in the MainStreamMedia and left-wing blogosphere are falling for my Plame-leak mis-direction hook, line, and sinker. Some of you doubted me. Some of you said, oh no, master, they will never fall for such a transparent scheme. Well – hah! Most of our enemies have barely noticed that we are on the verge of packing the Supreme Court with ultra-right wing nominees. And when they do notice, they only concern themselves with the sexual preferences of his four-year old (allow me a heh, heh, heh, heh, heh).

In fact things are going so well it may not even be necessary to arrange my own indictment. Oh, I will probably go ahead with it in a vain attempt to stave off boredom; some days I almost wish the Democrats would come up with a worthy opponent. I’m starting to feel like Dr. Evil in a world without Austin Powers.

If things continue moving along so smoothly, we may not even have to carry out the staged disappearance of another nubile college co-ed (or rather, we can save it for the next time we need to distract the cable news shows). I do plan to go ahead with the next framing of a minority celebrity for a capital crime (you won’t believe who I have lined up!) not so much because we need it, but as a favor to Rupert.

Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh, no one can stop us from achieving our goals, certainly not those meddling Kos kids.

YOUR MARCHING ORDER:
Defend Roberts, defend me, attack all liberals, even if you have to make it up. (Yes, I know, same old, same old.)

Signed,
K

P.S. I hope all of you took my advice and bought some Halliburton. We are now up 28% since January. Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh.

1 Comments:

Blogger drjonz said...

Does this communique mean that we no longer have to meet in smoke filled back rooms? I was just feeling like part of the gang since I got my weight up and lost a lot of hair.

Are we free to buy 100 cars each now that we're 'out?' I've been waiting FOREVER to spend all my oil money. I want to run over little kids in the street & throw quarters out the window at their parents for the burials!

8:34 PM  

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