Sunday, July 24, 2005


TO: Vast Right Wing Conspiracy
FROM: You Know Who
SUBJECT: Everything is going according to plan

My Dear Neocon Minions,
Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh, heh. Everything is going according to the plan I outlined in our last communication. Our dupes in the MainStreamMedia and left-wing blogosphere are falling for my Plame-leak mis-direction hook, line, and sinker. Some of you doubted me. Some of you said, oh no, master, they will never fall for such a transparent scheme. Well – hah! Most of our enemies have barely noticed that we are on the verge of packing the Supreme Court with ultra-right wing nominees. And when they do notice, they only concern themselves with the sexual preferences of his four-year old (allow me a heh, heh, heh, heh, heh).

In fact things are going so well it may not even be necessary to arrange my own indictment. Oh, I will probably go ahead with it in a vain attempt to stave off boredom; some days I almost wish the Democrats would come up with a worthy opponent. I’m starting to feel like Dr. Evil in a world without Austin Powers.

If things continue moving along so smoothly, we may not even have to carry out the staged disappearance of another nubile college co-ed (or rather, we can save it for the next time we need to distract the cable news shows). I do plan to go ahead with the next framing of a minority celebrity for a capital crime (you won’t believe who I have lined up!) not so much because we need it, but as a favor to Rupert.

Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh, no one can stop us from achieving our goals, certainly not those meddling Kos kids.

Defend Roberts, defend me, attack all liberals, even if you have to make it up. (Yes, I know, same old, same old.)


P.S. I hope all of you took my advice and bought some Halliburton. We are now up 28% since January. Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Does this communique mean that we no longer have to meet in smoke filled back rooms? I was just feeling like part of the gang since I got my weight up and lost a lot of hair.

Are we free to buy 100 cars each now that we're 'out?' I've been waiting FOREVER to spend all my oil money. I want to run over little kids in the street & throw quarters out the window at their parents for the burials!

8:34 PM  

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