Bald Headed Paper Boy

It's been a long time since we did a classic rock parody. So here's one based on the Charlie Daniels Band's "Long Haired Country Boy."

People say he's no good,
an ugly liberal goon
Cause spews hate in the morning,
and writes lies all afternoon.
Kinda writes like a liberal hack,
with lotsa bombs he loves to lob,
He got lots of money,
'Cause his mama got him a big job.

And he's all for raising your taxes,
and taking everything you own.
And he don't like the way you're livin',
Bald headed paper boy: leave us alone!

President appearing on T.V.,
Talkin' 'bout the Iraq war.
Wants to stay the course,
Believes in what we're fighting for.
Old baldie says he's a liar,
says none of that is true.
But you and I know that the biggest lies
appear daily in the StarTribune.

Cause he thinks we're fightin' for nothing,
He wants to bring the troops back home
he don't think freedom's worth defending,
Bald headed paper boy: leave us alone!

A poor man, he's a victim,
And a rich man must be bad.
He says he ain't a rich man,
Despite havin' a big shot dad.
He'll spend his columns crying and whining,
and shilling for the DFL vote.
He claims he's nobody's monkey,
but that's a big old joke.

While he says that he's nobody's monkey,
There's just one song and dance he knows.
He loves to do his master's bidding,
Bald headed paper boy: leave us alone!