Top 11 Democratic Conditions For A Debt Ceiling Deal

11. Boehner must stop crying during negotiations

10. More spending

9. New federal agency created to bully debt rating agencies

8. Deal must run through the next election

7. John McCain to represent Senate Republicans on any bipartisan committees

6. No entitlement reform

5. Paul Ryan must actually push an old lady off a cliff

4. Cuts to national defense

3. Eric Cantor's head served to them in the same manner as John the Baptist

2. More taxes

1. Harry Reid must be awarded the Powerline prize for an interpretive dance about the national debt