Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Top 11 Ways Al Franken Plans to Kill Time At Today’s Kagan Hearing

On the first day of the Elena Kagan hearings, Al Franken took a nap during Kagan’s opening statement. On the second day of the hearings, Franken drew a Rembrandt-like sketch of Senator Jeff Sessions. Here are the top 11 ways Al Franken plans to kill time at today’s Kagan hearing:

Top 11 Ways Al Franken Plans to Kill Time At Today’s Kagan Hearing

11. Do a shot every time someone mentions the constitution

10. Work on his hilarious new story about drugging and raping the entire cast of "The View"

9. Scheme to steal Amy Klobuchar's title as "funniest Senator" poll winner

8. Find out more about this "Supreme Court" thing by searching Wikipedia

7. Think up some new insults for stupid Republicans

6. Work on “Stuart Saves His Family” sequel

5. Pass a note to Harry Reid asking to get on one of the more exciting committees

4. Finish the bottom part of his cartoon of Senator Sessions by drawing him without pants

3. Draft a law prohibiting Gardy from putting anyone batting below .220 in the 2 spot in the Twins lineup (actually, this is the way I would kill time if I had to sit through the Kagan hearing)

2. Write some snappy comebacks to smart ass hecklers for Joe Biden

1. As a tribute to Ted Kennedy, figure out a way to work in a question about Long Dong Silver


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