Wednesday, June 02, 2010

Top 11 Reasons Al & Tipper Gore Are Separating

11. Every time Al forgot to take out the garbage, Tipper would scream at him , "That's why you'll never be President!"

10. After ten years, Al's insistence that Tipper whistle "Hail to the Chief" every time he walked into a room really got old

9. Al refused to put a "Warning: explicit B.S." label over his mouth

8. Turns out their romance wasn't really the basis for "Love Story" after all

7. Al became convinced that Tipper was helping ManBearPig

6. For a guy who invented the Internet, Al sure has a hard time remembering to put the toilet seat down

5. Tipper is still disappointed with the fact that Al's package needed to be enhanced on the cover of Rolling Stone

4. Al could no longer bear Tipper's sarcastic calls for a "recount" every time he left a tip at a restaurant

3. It turns out that there is no truth to what they say about guys with a large carbon footprint

2. Tipper overheard Al telling his buddies that he not only invented the Internet, he also invented Internet pornography

1. Constant arguing because Tipper preferred to undermine American values via paternalistic limitations on free-speech, while Al preferred to destroy American industry through hysterical fear-mongering


Post a Comment

<< Home