Top 11 Unpaid Positions the White House Offered to Joe Sestak to Drop Out of the Pennsylvania Democratic Senate Primary

11. Intern, Clinton Presidential Library

10. Volunteer offshore oil platform czar

9. Official White House shopper for gifts to foreign dignitaries

8. Biographer/neighbor of Sarah Palin

7. Weekend radio host on the Patriot

6. The guy who follows around Al Gore and turns off the lights when he leaves a room

5. Shower towel boy for Rahm Emanuel

4. Star Tribune "Your Voices" columnist

3. Guy who tells Michelle Obama that the dress does make her butt look big

3. White House liaison to Scarlet Johansson

2. Lt. Governor running mate for Matt Entenza

1. Beard for Elena Kagan