Tuesday, July 07, 2009

Top 11 Surprises At The Michael Jackson Memorial

11. Kobe Bryant and Luke Walton perform heart-rending rendition of "Ebony & Ivory"

10. Sister Janet keeps her top on

9. Scott Baio seated next to Margaret Thatcher

8. President Obama remained in Russia, rather than returning home to the USA to raise Michael from the dead

7. Slightly lower than usual price gouging by Ticketmaster

6. Closing hymn was "Eat It" by Weird Al Yankovic

5. Most coherent eulogy given by Bubbles the Chimp

4. Wailing and weeping by Jackson's doctors far exceeded grief displayed by family

3. Eulogy by Bernard Law

2. Joseph Merrick's heirs offer Jackson's family $1 Million for Michael's bones

1. After embalming, Jackson actually looks more alive now than he has for the last five years


Blogger John F Not Kerry said...

OJ Simpson tries on "The Glove" just to prove he had nothing to do with Jackson's death.

10:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you. Thank you. That was hilarious.

4:13 PM  

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