Thursday, June 25, 2009

Top 11 Reasons Mark Sanford Didn't Really Want To Be President Anyway

11. Much easier to slip away from South Carolina state patrol for romantic rendezvous than the Secret Service

10. Got his eye on a zesty Chilean widow

9. Wasn't looking forward to endless SNL skits on how he can see Argentina from his house

8. It's actually unconstitutional for the President to have an affair with a foreign national

7. Presidential mistress selection is pretty much limited to un-exotic interns

6. Couldn't bear giving David Letterman any more easy jokes

5. Date of the 2013 State of the Union Address clashes with a planned hike along Appalachian Trail

4. Calculated his odds of ever getting together with a Argentinean divorcee. Mathematically, he had to do it.

3. Would rather spend time hiking in Anothervagina State Park

2. Afraid wife would keep White House in divorce proceedings

1. As President, couldn't participate in his new reality show "Mark and Kate + twelve"


Anonymous Mike Licht said...

Oh great. First the Republicans ruin the US economy, now they're even outsourcing adultery.


7:19 PM  

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