Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Top 11 Predicted Announcements at Timberwolves Press Conference This Afternoon

11) Glen Taylor has removed himself as one of Kevin Love's followers on Twitter

10) Kevin McHale is leaving to become chief negotiator for GM in dealings with the UAW

9) During games next season, unused seats at Target Center will be made available to house former Guantanamo detainees

8) Vowing to rebuild a championship play-off roster like they had in 2003-04, announcing the re-signing Ndudi Ebi

7) It's all a set-up for Glen Taylor to deliver hilarious joke about Al Jefferson impregnating Sarah Palin's daughter

6) Michael Williams' plantar fascitis has finally healed and he's been cleared to play this year

5) Announcement that Target has rescinded their naming rights and the arena will now be known as Cash-N-Pawn Center

4) Blaming their recent failures on lack of a taxpayer funded "green" roof on Target Center

3) Announcing a food drive to feed Latrell Sprewell's starving family

2) Kevin McHale is leaving as coach so he can compete in Dancing with the Stars

1) Reminding Minnesotans that we still have an NBA team

3 Comments:

Blogger John F Not Kerry said...

Mark Madsen is inducted as the first member of the "Timberwolf For Life" club.

5:15 PM  
Blogger John F Not Kerry said...

The team is under investigation for tampering with Joe Smith, now playing with the Cleveland Cavaliers.

3:29 PM  
Anonymous Ben said...

12. That holding onto McFail this long is officially more embaressing to the franchise than Eddie Griffen getting arrested for crahsing his car while jacking off to porn or anything J.R. Rider ever did.

13. Reminding people they could have been the New Orleans Wolves if Glenn Taylor hadn't saved them from moving back in 1994, in a related note Taylor calls that his "worst financial decision in his life" in a recent Forbes interview of crappy sports owners. Art Modell couldn't be reached for comment.

7:34 PM  

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