Top 11 Things the Obamas Did During Their Walk Behind the Shrubbery

The Associated Press reports some disturbing news out of the White House regarding the First Couple:

So they began walking on the driveway of the White House South Lawn while holding hands. First they passed the West Wing, then their children's swing set. They kept walking, swinging their hands together.

There were no Secret Service agents right behind them - the agents stood off, in one of the rare moments that the Obamas had private space outside the White House walls. As the Obamas walked behind shrubbery and out of sight, the unscripted moment left reporters guessing where they were going. To the vegetable garden? The basketball court?

No final word, but they eventually came back the same way from where they started, rounding out their 8-minute walk.

This kind of cover-up among high government officials cannot be tolerated. The American people demand transparency. Until the veil of secrecy is lifted and we know all of the facts of what occurred, we are forced to speculate on the Top 11 Things the Obamas were doing during their walk behind the shrubbery.

11) Looking for a place to bury Joe Biden

10) Looking for places to house released Guantanamo Bay detainees

9) Scouting for a good location to put the teleprompter when talking to the guy who cuts the grass

8) Apologizing to the trees for US government role in spreading Dutch Elm Disease

7) Making a list of shovel ready projects in the yard

6) Breaking in Michele's $450 sneakers

5) Shooing Bill Clinton away from the window in front of the women's bathroom again

4) Searching for evidence to substantiate the rumors that Dick Cheney regularly tortured squirrels and chipmunks on the South Lawn.

3) Personally fertilizing the zucchini so it will be ready to give as a gift to Angela Merkel when she makes her state visit

2) Making a bet on whether the AP was really silly enough to make their walk into a "news" story.

1) Introducing Michele to his new stimulus package