Wednesday, July 01, 2009

Top 11 Star Tribune Headlines If Coleman Would Have Won the Disputed Recount

The Minnesota Supreme Court ends the Minnesota election contest, effectively naming Al Franken the winner. The Star Tribune's front page headline reaction:

At last, a second senator for Minnesota

The exasperation is palpable. That pesky legal process and getting a fair hearing for disputes is sooooo annoying. At last, we get to add a hyper partisan ultra-liberal Democrat politician to a governing body already crawling with them. What a relief!

The slow motion nightmare of this election, which miraculously evolved from a 700+ vote lead for Coleman on election night to a 300+ loss is indeed over. There were enough intriguing subplots (including missing ballots, found ballots, double counted ballots, uncounted ballots, a series of uni-directional clerical errors, lax standards, moving standards, unequal standards, etc.) to merit a best selling political thriller. Or a horror movie screenplay, if you are a Republican. (In fact, I'm working on a treatment of it for the next sequel in the Saw franchise).

The lack of journalistic curiosity and ginned up outrage over the high strangeness of some of the procedures and outcomes were constant themes. That Star Tribune headline is a perfect ending to their role in the process. But I wonder, if the election played out in the exact same way, except Franken and Coleman's roles were switched, what would the headline be?

Here are the Top 11 likely suspects:

11) Coleman's Victory A Hollow One As Doubts Linger

10) Coleman Wins, Minnesota Voters Lose

9) Court Imposes Verdict On Voters

8) Coleman's Coup Complete

7) Senator George W. Coleman

6) Disenfranchisement: Women and Minorities Hardest Hit

5) Laurie Coleman Out of Sight As Norm Declares Victory: Senator to Visit Argentina?

4) Secretary of State Ritchie Fails to Live Up to His Potential

3) Supreme Court and Coleman to Minnesota Voters: Drop Dead

2) There Goes Our Bailout

1) Our Democracy Is Burning


Anonymous ashton said...

Dude, where's my vote?

6:41 PM  
Blogger John F Not Kerry said...

Democrats plan to bus in more out of state voters for next election.

6:42 PM  

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