Monday, July 13, 2009

Top 11 Reasons The Initial Obama Stimulus Package Has Failed To Revitalize The Economy

11. Turns out abortions and contraceptives not as potent economic multipliers as Nancy Pelosi predicted

10. Not enough money spent on arts cooperatives

9. Package too small to properly penetrate most sensitive stimulus areas

8. Sarah Palin somehow stopped it from working

7. Congress given far too much time to analyze and debate the stimulus bill before it was passed

6. Consumers and investors waiting for cap and trade to guarantee that the recovery will be green

5. Greedy bourgeoisie businessmen, sinister speculators, corrupt kulaks, and other enemies of the people are engaging in counter-revolutionary behavior

4. In hindsight, expecting Joe Biden to help stimulate anything was probably a mistake

3. Al Franken's new found seriousness has robbed the nation of mirth and plunged everyone into depression

2. It would have worked, if only the mainstream media had shown a little support for Obama

1. Americans waiting for the reassurance of a wise Latina woman on the Supreme Court


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Anonymous Elisa said...

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