Tuesday, April 07, 2009


Headline from AOL news: Rude Cell Phone Users Might Get Prison Time in India

What?! India? I mean I get as annoyed as anyone at the a-hole at Target who thinks I want to hear about the sloppy seconds he had at Delta House on Saturday night, but that doesn't mean I want the poor shmuck shipped off to spend the rest of his days rotting away in a Mumbai prison. 

How rude do you have to be, exactly, for this to apply?

Interior, courthouse. Judge cracks gavel on that wooden thing:

Judge: "Bob Thompson, I hearby sentence you to hard time in India for being rude with your cell phone."

Bob Thompson: "India?? What? My buddy Sully just had to pay a fine!"  

Bob's lawyer: "Bob, shhh. Don't make it worse."

Bob: "Don't make it worse? How much worse could it get? You told me this sentence was an urban myth!"

Bob's lawyer: "Bob, SHUT UP. Your honor, I don't know him. I think I'm in the wrong courtroom...yep. My apologies." 

Bob, pleading to judge: "Can't I just go to Canada?"

Judge: "Mr. Thompson, this new law was created to make an example of people like you, not to give you an all-expenses paid trip to Vancouver. Maybe the next time you feel the need to anally rape your neighbor with your Nokia 6210 Navigator, you'll think twice."

Bob, chastened: "Would it have made a difference if I'd only used the 2680 model?"

Judge: "No. Guards, take him away."

As he is being led away, Bob yells over his shoulder, "Screw you! I don't care, he deserved it! His G**-D*** dog would not stay out of my begonias! I warned him...tell my kids I love them..."

I mean come on, no way is this-- whoops. I just read the rest of the article. 

Never mind.


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