Top 11 Reasons A Malawi Court Rejected Madonna's Application To Adopt Chifundo "Mercy" James

11. Afraid Madonna would give the kid a really goofy name

10. Afraid that being around A-Rod would be a bad influence on the kid

9. Madonna let slip that she planned to put the kid to work in her Indonesian sweat shop

8. Her bribe to the judges consisted of an iPod loaded with Obama speeches

7. AIDS ridden Malawi is still a less perverted environment for a child than living with Madonna

6. Still holding a grudge over buying tickets for Shanghai Surprise

5. The last Malawi kid that she adopted testified that he envies Christina Crawford

4. Her book "Sex" not fully compliant with Sharia law

3. Little known Malawi law requires adoptive parents to have some sort of talent

2. Doesn't want the kid living in a country plagued by runaway debt, corruption, and incompetent government leaders

1. Angelina Jolie rumored to be preparing a better offer