IBBT Local NIGP-01

SISYPHUS: Welcome JB, Misanthropic Frat Boy, Fuzzy Nietzsche, and Atomizer to the organizing meeting for Local NIGP-01 of the International Brotherhood of Bloggers and Thunderjournalists Union. Also joining us is John F Not Kerry who tried to start an NIGP local of the Commenter’s Union, but couldn’t, really, because he’s the only commenter.

JB: UNION! UNION! UNION! UNION!

SISYPHUS: That’s right JB; we are here to organize an NIGP local of the IBBT. It is about time we banded together to fight back against the Man, or in our case, the Nihilist. We have been oppressed enough.

I see no downside to starting a union, especially since the Nihilist is way too cheap to hire goons to bust our heads. We have nothing to lose but our chains!

JB: SOLIDARITY! SOLIDARITY! SOLIDARITY!

SISYPHUS: Okay, now we need to come up with our list of demands. Fuzzy Nietsche?

FUZZY NIETZSCHE: I demand that the Nihilist give me back my old posting name. I don’t even live in Saint Paul anymore.

SISYPHUS: Indeed. Atomizer?

ATOMIZER: No more of this cheap gin in the break room. We demand Bombay Sapphire. Plus Tanqueray for Gin and Tonic season.

JB: GOOD GIN! GOOD GIN! GOOD GIN!

SISYPHUS: One thing we don’t want is a percentage of the revenue, since the blog has never had any revenue and probably never will. It would make much more sense to demand flat fees of $50 per post and $10 per update to a post.

JOHN F NOT KERRY: And $5 per comment.

SISYPHUS: I'll add that to the list. Misanthropic Frat Boy?

MFB: What about the steroids issue?

SISYPHUS: Good point. I think the Nihilst should stop requiring that we take steroids. That should be a personal decision made by each blogger.

MFB: And the Nihilist shouldn’t be allowed to call us “undedicated wimpy wusses” if we refuse.

FUZZY NIETZSCHE: NO JUICE! NO JUICE! NO JUICE!

SISYPHUS: I also demand the right to post more than once a week. JB, what do you demand?

JB: I want an end to Bruce Springsteen on the NIGP muzak system. NO BOSS! NO BOSS! NO BOSS!

SISYPHUS: Okay, that’s a good start for our demands. The Shot in the Dark local has raised another issue. They propose changing the name of our union to the International Brotherhood and Sisterhood of Bloggers and Thunderjournalists. Do we want to take a stand on this proposal?

JB: NO CHICKS! NO CHICKS! NO CHICKS!

SISYPHUS: Okay JB, I’ll appoint you to negotiate that one out with Mitch. One final issue: I assume that none of us has the time to actually picket the Nihilist, so I propose hiring some homeless illegal aliens to picket for us. All those in favor say aye.

EVERYONE: AYE!

SISYPHUS: Excellent. This organizational meeting is over!