Friday, July 14, 2006

Speaking Of Wussy Moves...

Blender magazine has released their list of the top wussy rock acts:

10. Hilary Duff
9. Chris Martin
8. Babyface
7. Rascal Flatts
6. Kenny G
5. Peter Cetera
4. Boyz II Men
3. Dan Folgelberg
2. Nick Lachey
1. James Taylor

Chicks by definition can't be wusses, so Hilary shouldn't be on there (plus, she's pretty hot) but it's hard to argue against "Sweet Baby" James as the number one wuss of all time. Plus, he's a leftist so it feels good to beat up on him. You normally don't think of smack junkies as wussy singer-songwriter types, but I guess he had some big bills to pay.

The list of songs is pretty good too:

Air Supply/All Out of Love

James Blunt/You're Beautiful

Debby Boone/You Light Up My Life

Bread/If

Captain & Tennille/Muskrat Love

Chicago/You're the Inspiration

Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young/Our House

Dan Fogelberg/Longer

Taylor Hicks/Do I Make You Proud

Dan Hill/Sometimes When We Touch

Michael Jackson/She's Out of My Life

Loggins & Messina/Danny's Song

'N Sync/God Must Have Spent a Little More Time on You

Lionel Richie/Hello

Simon & Garfunkel/Scarborough Fair

Stevie Wonder/I Just Called to Say I Love You

Our House takes top honors from this list in my book. The melody alone is enough to put me into epileptic fits and the lyrics sound like they were written by one of Neil Young's kids (what kind of person has two cats anyway?).

5 Comments:

Blogger Nihilist in Golf Pants said...

Excellent analysis, but Peter Frampton's "I'm in You" needs to be on the list.

1:31 PM  
Anonymous Bruce Berman said...

And "Afternoon Delight" by the Starland Vocal Band. Have you ever seen a picture of that "band"? The two guys in the group are the most emasculated hermaphrodites I've ever seen in pants.

2:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about Train?

"No one knows what it's like to be me?"

What kind of teenage wussosity is that?

2:11 PM  
Blogger Sisyphus said...

The normally non-wussy Lynyrd Skynyrd's song "Gimme Three Steps" which should only be sung in the original French.

4:58 PM  
Blogger Just Me said...

Whoever wrote that list neglected to mention that "Muskrat Love" was originally recorded by another wussy band: America. Although to be fair the America version didn't have the background animal noises...

7:40 AM  

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