Friday, February 04, 2005

Casting Call

The Nihilist in Golf Pants is on to a winner with his right-wing blogger friendly movie “The MOB Rules”. Unfortunately, he is less skilled as a casting director. So, we sent him back to the word processor to write a bigger part for King Banaian while we work out the deals to land the following cast:
NIGPRay Romano
SisyphusMel Gibson
Chad The ElderJon Stewart
St. PaulFrank Caliendo
JB DoubtlessBen Affleck
Sober AtomizerKeanu Reeves
Intoxicated AtomizerAndy Dick
James LileksBob Balaban
King BanaianTom Selleck
Mitch BergRandy Quaid
Big TrunkV-Toed Bill
HindrocketLearned Foot
DeaconSteve Buscemi
Warrior MonkAndy Garcia
EloiseMary Steenburgen
Cap’n EdTommy Lee Jones

JoElisabeth Shue
Mark W.Nicholas Cage
And then they will make the sequel: “Leaving Deadwood”

Margaret MartinPenelope Cruz
David StromRicky Gervais
Terry KeeganSean Connery
Virginia KeeganCybill Shepherd
Marty NeumannAlex Trebek
Nathan AndersonJoey Fatone
PMBJohn Malkovich
Learned FootBrett Favre
V-Toed BillFabio
NoodlesPhillip Seymour Hoffman
Mac PenguinJennifer Coolidge
First RingerJosh Hartnett
JD – Garrison Keillor
Policy GuyGary Cole (Bill Lumdbergh from Office Space)
Mark YostTom Arnold
Mrs. Yost – Frances McDormand
Gary DvKJon Lauck
DCHolly Hunter
Bogus Dougthe guy who played Michael Bolton in Office Space
Jim BoydPeter Boyle
Nick ColemanLarry David
Laura BillingsEve Plumb
Laura H. – Jennifer Aniston
Hugh HewittPeter Billingsley
Ghost of ElvisNIGP
Cathy in WrightTeri Hatcher
Anoka FlashAl Franken
ChiefMatt Damon
SwifteeDennis Hopper
Cap’n FishsticksBill Murray
Patrick CampionWayne Knight
St. Paul Groupie #1 – Jessica Simspon
St. Paul Groupie # 2 – Pamela Anderson Lee
St. Paul Groupie # 3 – Lisa Loeb
St. Paul Groupie # 4 – Angelina Jolie
St. Paul Groupie # 5 – Tom Cruise
St. Paul Groupie # 6 – Kirstie Alley
St. Paul Groupie # 7 – Kirsten Dunst
St. Paul Groupie # 8 – Reese Witherspoon
St. Paul Groupie # 9 – Anna Nicole Smith
St. Paul Groupie # 10 – Jennifer Lopez


Blogger TFB said...

I for one am thrilled with my re-cast.
Shue? Best lookin' woman alive so no complaints here.

11:57 AM  
Blogger Craig Westover said...

Be careful, Jo. With that casting, Mark may want to play himself. Personally, I think Sean Connery is a better fit for me than for Terry Keegan, although if Russell "Master and Commander" Crowe slimed down a bit, he'd make an acceptable "Capitan de pescados."

2:51 PM  

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