I'm Getting Too Old For This

Recently, I've talked to several people who felt disgusted with the political process. They felt that democracy has failed, that there are no candidates worthy of their support, that voting has become a futile exercise. To those people I say you are probably right, at least about the political process today. But there is one place where the beauty of the democratic process is still apparent.

"The Real World" on MTV is about to begin their twentieth season of telling the story of seven strangers chosen to live together and have their lives videotaped. To celebrate, MTV is inviting all Americans to participate in an election to determine the highlights (and low lights) of the grandaddy of reality television.

For those who haven't watched from start to finish, "The Real World" went through three phases: Phase 1 was the shortest, lasting only one season. That era was highlighted by randomly throwing strangers together without screening for any drama. This proved to be very boring as fairly normal people quickly learned to peacefully coexist. Fortunately, MTV corrected this for the next era, beginning with season 2.

This era featured roommates predisposed to hate each other. This script had several permutations. One plot involved finding the most obnoxious person they could get and letting him terrorize the house. Another involved pair someone from the deep south with black people. My favorite plot was taking one person who began the season with decent morals and values(in one case a student from Brigham Young) and putting them in a house with a bunch of deviants. This was the most entertaining era of the show.

Alas, after ten years, the show had to change things up. Beginning in season 12, MTV began choosing to pair very attractive people, especially bisexual women, and let the hormones fly.

Now that you are up on the history, more about the election, which culminates in a special airing March 29 at 1 pm EDT. There are 13 categories to choose from. Since I have no interest in categories such as "Dance Off" or "Hottest Male," I will feature a few 'must vote' categories.

"Best Brush With The Law" is a fun category, since the young adults are often drunk and stupid. Should I vote for Tyree's public urination in Denver in season 18? Perhaps meat head Brad in San Diego's drunk and disorderly arrest in season 14? Nope, the winner is floozy Robin in San Diego's drunken assault of a bar patron in the same season (and according to MTV - take with a grain of salt) on the same night.

"Best Fight" is my favorite category. There is a runaway winner here: Puck versus Pedro. In season 3, Puck is the uber-obnoxious jerk. Pedro is a gay activist who is literally dying of AIDS. Puck would also win "Roommate You Love To Hate." In the clip for this category, Pedro got angry that Puck stuck his finger in Pedro's jar of peanut butter, after Pedro saw Puck picking his nose earlier. I can see how Pedro would get upset. He had just worked up a big appetite by giving a rusty trombone (warning: probably NSFW) to his boyfriend Sean. Yet he's worried about getting a little booger in his peanut butter. Puck was an ass, but it is funny watching him reign anarchy all over Pedro's politically correct world. It's antics like this that make Season 3: San Francisco the runaway favorite for "Favorite Season."

As Diddy would say, "Vote or die!"