The 5 Stages of Blogging

Maybe it was the alcohol from St. Patrick's Day. Maybe it was the fact that I spent half of the day in airports. But somehow, it struck me. The 5 stages of grief apply 100% to blogging.

Now, I'm not making light of the people who have been given the worst news. But I've noticed a definite parallel between those who take to blogging and those diagnosed as terminal. Let's take a look at the steps:

Stage 1: Denial
The would be blogger ignores the fact that there literally are millions of blogs that no one actually reads and sets up a new blog. Beware! Even award winning blogs like this one get a paltry hit count of 300 unique visitors per day. Yet the would-be blogger is in full fledged denial:

I'll be the next PowerLine.

Sure you will, kiddo.

The initial blogging euphoria wears off quickly and leads to the second stage.

Stage 2: Anger
The neophyte blogger lashes out from frustration that no one reads the work that they spend several hours or more on each week. Meanwhile, their boss, their wife, their kids all notice that the blogger is focusing his energy elsewhere. They protest, making the blogger's life unpleasant. The blogger has no choice than to lash out, generally at other bloggers who have exponentially more hits:

F*** those PowerLine guys. I'm just as smart as John Hinderacker. And who did Cap'n Ed blow to get all those hits?

The second stage may last for years. Some blogs dedicate their entire existence to anger. Anger is a more productive stage than denial. Eventually, it leads to stage three.

Stage 3: Bargaining
The third stage is a pathetic cry for help:

Maybe if I link to Hinderacker's post, he will throw me a link.

Unfortunately, this strategy seldom works. It is a sad state which precedes the fourth stage.

Stage 4: Depression
This is the stage where the blogger actually begins to get it:

I am not sure this is worth it. Does anyone even take me seriously?

Once a blogger has advanced to stage four, there is a good chance they will advance quickly to stage 5.

Stage 5: Acceptance
This is the point where the blogger finally achieves their final desiny:

This will be my final post. Thanks to all of my readers. I'll miss you

Clarification
The last line was not meant to be a statement of my intentions. I apologize for writing in a way that could be misinterpreted as such. I want to be clear that I am not leaving anytime soon. The statement was meant to accurately depict stage 5 of a typical blogging career. I am still vacilating between the stages of anger and bargaining.