Friday, June 09, 2006

Tick. Tick. Tick.

With apologies to Hugh Hewitt, there appears to be an epidemic that is far closer to terrorizing our shores than the avian flu: the return of the moustache.

People are beginning to panic, according to 26-year-old documentary filmmaker Jay Della Vale, who created "The Glorious Moustache Challenge":

For the first month, everybody is against it, especially the women," he said. "They say, 'Please don't do that, you remind me of my father ... or a 70s porn star'."

Like smallpox, humanity has successfully defeated this crisis in the past:

. . . the moustache's fortunes took a dive in the popularity stakes -- it's fall from grace best summed up by the makeover forced on the "Brawny Man."

A brand icon whose lumberjack shirt and heavy moustache had promoted Brawny kitchen towels for decades, the Brawny Man was replaced in 2003 by a clean-shaven hunk who was seen as more in tune with the times.

Can we stop the moustache? Experts disagree:

Della Vale optimistically predict an "epidemic" of moustaches spreading across the country, while other fashion arbiters are more cautious.

One of the more cautious experts is James Bassil, editor-in-chief of the male lifestyle website,

"The general impression that women have of moustaches is either they love them or they are absolutely repulsed by them, and there's no real middle ground," Bassil said.

"And there needs to be a middle ground for a fashion or a facial hair trend to be adopted en masse permanently," he added.

Dr. Michael Osterholm, the state epidemiologist for the Minnesota Department of Health could not be reached for comment, but I would guess he'd suggest that it's time to panic.


Blogger Nicko McDave said...

There is definitely a correlation between mustaches and disease. It used to be that I would get sick whenever I had a big beard with mustache, and got better once I shaved off the germ trap. Since foregoing the beard, I wear a mustache but I make sure to trim it every coupld of weeks before it starts catching my sneezes.

12:27 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home