Evaluating My Oil Change

A couple of weeks ago I took in my vehicle for an oil change. A week or so later I received a call from my vehicle’s manufacturer. Here is a slightly embellished transcript of the conversation:

CALLER: Hi Mr. Sisyphus, I’m calling from [luxury automobile manufacturer]. Our records show you recently had your vehicle serviced at [luxury automobile dealer]. Is that correct?

SISYPHUS: Yes, I had my oil changed.

SURVEY TAKER: Do you have time for a brief customer satisfaction survey?

SISYPHUS: Well, I was going to write a blog post, but I guess I can do this instead.

SURVEY TAKER: Thank you. Was the work completed in a timely manner?

SISYPHUS: Yes.

SURVEY TAKER: Was the work done correctly the first time?

SISYPHUS: [long pause] I’m ashamed to admit that I didn’t check. Just a minute and I’ll run out to the garage and check.

SURVEY TAKER: What? Wait.

SISYPHUS: It’ll just take a sec.

[3 or 4 minutes later]

SISYPHUS: Looks like the crankcase is full, but I don’t really have any way to know that they actually changed the oil. I took a sample that I can send o you for analysis.

SURVEY TAKER: What?

SISYPHUS: I have a sample of oil that I can send to you so that you can confirm that the dealer actually changed my oil and didn’t just say they did.

SURVEY TAKER: [pause] I’m sure that would never happen.

SISYPHUS: Then why waste your time and mine with this survey. How do we know that they’re not just pocketing my $20? If they’re lying, my engine will wear out quicker than it should, and I’ll blame your employer and purchase a different brand next time. Where should I send the oil sample?

SURVEY TAKER: [long pause] I don’t think we do that.

SISYPHUS: I’m sure you must. Why don’t you check with your supervisor?

SURVEY TAKER: Oh, okay.

[4 or 5 minute wait]

SUPERVISOR: I’m [name], the supervisor. Is there a problem, sir?

SISYPHUS: That’s what I’m trying to find out. You asked me whether my oil change was performed correctly the first time. I’m trying to get an address to send my oil sample so that we can find out.

SUPERVISOR: I’m sorry sir, but we don’t do that.

SISYPHUS: Okay, fine. Put down “I don’t know” to that question.

SUPERVISOR: You don’t know?

SISYPHUS: Most likely the oil change was done correctly, but I don’t really know for sure.

SUPERVISOR: [pause] Okay. On a scale from one to five with one being unsatisfied and five being very satisfied, how would you rate your maintenance experience?

SISYPHUS: Five, very satisfied.

SUPERVISOR: And what about the experience were you very satisfied with.

SISYPHUS: What? What do you mean?

SUPERVISOR: You said you were very satisfied, why?

SISYPHUS: [pause] It was just an oil change that may or may not have been correctly performed the first time. I have to give a reason?

SUPERVISOR: [long pause] If you would, please.

SISYPHUS: Okay, I’ll level with you. I have no reason for my ranking; I just thought that saying I was very satisfied would end this interview quicker.

SUPERVISOR: Thank you, very much for your time, sir.

SISYPHUS: Sure, any time.