Monday, March 20, 2006

New Song Parody - Uptown


Sung to the tune of Downtown by Petula Clark

When you want to walk alone with plenty of worries
You can always go Uptown
When you've got jewels or a coat that is furry
Seems to help, I know Uptown
Just listen to the thunder of the gunshots in the city
Linger on the sidewalk after 9 and they'll say "What a pity"

The crimes are much bigger there
You can forget all your future and stop breathing air
So go Uptown, your life will be done when you're
Uptown, a meal out with friends?
Uptown, your life as you know it will end

Don't let soul-crushing ennui get to you
There is diversity - Uptown
Maybe you know a little Korean restaurant you can go
Where all-you-care-to-eat buffet doesn't close - Uptown

Just browse along in a cutesy antique store
Your chaffeur can pick you up before it gets too hardcore

You can forget it's a problem, act like you don't care
And go Uptown, "Won't happen to me"
Uptown, "They have the detritus I need"
Uptown, they'll even stick a bullet in thee


Anonymous MB said...

"The crimes are much bigger there"


Like, are they committed by bigger criminals?

Or do they get more money per crime?

Or are victims more dead than elsewhere?

Needs rewording.

"You can forget it's a problem, act like you don't care"

Well, there ARE fewer problems - at any given moment, anyway - than there are, er, surprises in some people's pockets.

"Uptown, they'll even stick a bullet in thee"

Or maybe they'll get one stuck in them.

3:38 PM  

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