Thursday, December 09, 2010

First Top 11 Things Mark Dayton Will Do As Governor of Minnesota

11. Rescind all the honorary titles that Tim Pawlenty awarded to Hugh Hewitt over the last eight years

10. Name Larry Jacobs as Official State Pollster

9. Ask Harry Reid for specific instructions

8. Memorize the Capitol’s emergency escape routes

7. Insist that his official portrait include his imaginary friend Paco

6. Start filling out ballots for his re-election bid

5. In preparation for the budget battle, get his family to fund a series of attack ads against the wealthy

4. Order the immediate re-naming of Macy's

3. Issue an executive order authorizing the immediate seizure and destruction of all Christmas cards that Scott Johnson has ever received

2. Sell the Renoirs at the Minneapolis Institute of Arts to balance the budget

1. Stare blankly into space (and continue for next four years)


Anonymous Anonymous said...

12. Make Kombucha and Coke the official cocktail of Minnesota.

13. Proclaim July 9, "Prozac appreciation" day.

3:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Doods. Where is the "Top 11 things the Army will do to comply with the repeal of DADT"?

I mean, c' I need to do everything?

3:11 PM  

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