Friday, April 25, 2008

Helping a Brotha'

One of the great things about Fraters Libertas is their archives. Whether it be their opinions on beer, books, or masses of humanity that attend the Minnesota State Fair, they permanently keep a record of their best stuff (if only they would reopen the Newspaper Newlyweds link).

As a friend of Fraters, I am privy to a little secret that I am prepared to spill. Their obsession with the movie "Shark Swarm" has led them to consider opening a new archive of the Hollywood portrayal of the American businessman as villain. The Fraters are seeking contributions from the big and small screen of examples of how Hollyweird thinks businessmen are evil. In light of that fact, I respectfully submit "Bewitched" boss Larry Tate for inclusion in their archive:

Larry Tate was the founding partner of advertising firm McMahon & Tate. Larry was the boss of advertising executive Darrin Stephens, the leading male character on "Bewitched." Larry Tate is above all focused on the customer. His goal in every business interaction is to ensure that the advertising his firm puts forward meets customer expectations. When his highly compensated subordinates fail to deliver a satisfactory product, Tate is a strict task master. Through a combination of threats and coercion, Tate derives a supernatural effort from his employees.

Unfortunately, Tate has found that good employees are difficult to come by. Darrin Stephens is frankly an unstable employee, with high absenteeism and patterns of strange behavior. Nevertheless, Larry Tate is able to motivate him to superior performance levels.

This is not to say Larry Tate doesn't know how to relax. His hobbies include mixing and consuming martinis, gimlets and Manhattans. The web site "TV Squad" named Larry the biggest drinker in TV history, besting Norm Peterson, Otis the Drunk, and the old broads from "Absolutely Fabulous"


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